Monday, August 3, 2015

No into a Yes


It's a weird feeling being told no. For me this no has come after finding out that I fractured my right heel. I was tumbling and came down wrong and unfortunately now have to take some time off to heal and allow the bones to mend. Being a dancer I hear music beats and songs that constantly move me. This feeling makes me want to come alive, walk to a certain beat, and be able to create whenever the feeling rushes over me. But being injured has been life telling me no. And that's really hard for me. Whenever someone in life has told me nit's made me want to do it even more. Not allowed to have the cookie, so you want it right now. Not allowed to go to the party, so you try to sneak out or find any way for you to be there. It's human nature. You're told no so automatically a switch tells you that you are entitled to what has now been taken off the table. And for me thats dancing at the moment.  Now I know that it's just a fracture and it will of course be healed in little time but this feeling still festers within me. To be honest it may sound weird but it couldn't come at a better time. Lately I've been unsure of the path to go on and unsure of my life as a dancer and in this line of work, and I've really been asking myself if I even loved it anymore. Dance as I grew up was home. It was a safe place that taught me discipline, showed me strength, and taught me so many incredible things.  And as I've grown older it has continued to be a tool to branch out and open so may doors. But when it starts to become a job focusing on money, body type, auditions, agents, and every other aspect that comes with it, it can become overwhelming. With this small injury I get the chance to step back so to speak. Take a breathing realign my life and see what is going on. See the path that I've chosen is laid out in front of me and see where it can take me. I think the biggest thing I've been thinking is just how incredible life can be. I have been fortunate enough to turn a passion into a career with agents helping me to work towards every single goal that i have set for myself. I feel so fortunate that I'm able to say I am a professional dancer and so proud to have made this into my career. Dance has been the building blocks of my character and discipline in life and i am proud of who I have become! And all from a hip hop class when I was 8. So although I've been told no for the time being I've chosen to make the best of it. To not take for granted this amazing life that i have and am so lucky to live. And to focus only on the things that make me happy and bring light into my life. This no right now has allowed me to look at my life and be excited again for whats to come. Be excited for the opportunities and unforeseen beauty that life has to offer. So in a weird way I'm thankful for this moment intake and this No right now. Because thats all it is. Just like life. its a no right now that is getting me ready for a yes. And I plan on being ready when that yes comes!